Be Still, Go Forward

I searched my mind for some strength from God’s word for this moment, and suddenly the Holy Spirit enlightened to me the words the Lord had spoken to Moses. "The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still ... why are you crying out to me, tell the children of Israel to go forward." (Exodus14:14-15)

To be still was not for me to retreat, but was a starting point for me to lift up the rod of the Lord. The time had come for us to march forward in a close relationship with Him, and to stretch up our hands to Him. If you stop in a place where you can only see the armies of the enemies, fear will strike you. The children of Israel began to murmur and complain because they had stopped out of fear. They could not go forward because of what their natural eyes saw. If our eyes are under the Serpent’s spell, we will become paralyzed with fear. It is not only sin that has the power to paralyze, but also fear, confusion, and unrest.

Slowly the corridor I was in lightened, and with it my entire being slowly became full of Light. There was nothing for me left to do now, but to put myself totally in the Lord’s hands, and follow the way His rod leads me.


[JF, TOATR, 1989]

Faces

The examining officer [in the prison in 1950’s communist Romania] was in a good mood today. You could sense it from the very beginning. There would be no beating. He just wanted to amuse himself with some pleasant conversation.

He asked me, "Do you believe that God created man in His own image?" I answered, "I certainly do." "Do you believe that you are in the image of God?" "Of course."

Then he took a mirror out of his pocket and handed it to me. "Look into the glass. See how ugly you are. You have dark circles under your eyes. You are all skin and bones. Your whole appearance is haggard, like a madman. If you are in the image of God, God must be as ugly as you are. Why should you worship Him?"

I had already seen myself in a mirror once since I had been in jail, and I knew that I was terribly ugly, I who had been considered a handsome man. I had been horrified to see myself in such shape. Now, my ugliness was being made into a theological problem.

Happily, Christians do not have to think beforehand what to answer. The words are given to them.

I said, "Yes, my God has an ugly face like me. In Hebrew there is no such word as 'face'. You can only say 'faces' -- panim. The word has no singular. There is a deep meaning in this, because no man has one face. He shows one countenance when he speaks to a superior, another when he bullies an inferior, one when he is grieved, another when he hears good news. Our God also has many faces. One is a face of complete serenity, the serenity of a Being Who has foreordained everything and can see from the beginning the happy end of the tortuous road. He has a face radiant with joy, sharing the pleasure of all who rejoice, even that of a little girl who has been given a new doll. But He has also another image, one of even worse suffering and ugliness than mine. We saw this face on Golgotha. His hair was disordered, His brow was disfigured by wounds. Spittle and blood mingled on His face. He had dark circles under his eyes. 'He had no form or comeliness' (Isaiah 53:2). This, too, is one of the faces of the Godhead. Christ is not ashamed to call me His brother."

I hope the communist officer understood at least something of what I told him.


[RW, IPWCS, 2000]

Tell Him, "My Hands Are Empty"

Good Friday is the place where we should return, again and again, so as to depend only on God, letting all knowledge and all stories go. This is the place and the state that invites God to act, to intervene in our lives. Good Friday is the best time for this meeting in history which shows God as an acting, active God.

...Jesus is resurrected, yes, but Jesus is also still on the cross. And if I want to be with Him, I have to go where He is. To arrive at a Good Friday is a gift from God, an invitation from God to re-begin my life with Him. It’s a big gift from God if I realize that I have to re-begin my life. God is so rich that He doesn’t permit us to use blessings from the past. He wants to share with us blessings from the present. His presence is out of time, which means it is a continuous presence. He overcomes time in this way. And even those experiences of past blessing are nothing when you are in a new trouble. It doesn't help. You have to tell God, these past experiences are not tools in my hand. My hands are empty again and again and again. Why doesn't God speak to us through the Bible? Because we know everything and our hands are not empty. We cannot listen to His voice because between Him and me there is a Bible passage. My hands have to be empty. To say to God at the beginning of the day, I will open the Bible and I want to be taught by You, not by my knowledge about the Bible. ...

You know, the history of European theatre begins with the empty tomb. The first theatrical representations used the liturgy as a starting point. Or more precisely, the visiting of the empty tomb. In these early plays, the Marys are going to the tomb in order to meet the dead Jesus and they are asking the angels where the dead body is. And we, we too cannot find the resurrected body so we are always looking for a dead body, returning to the tomb. This is our general condition, to search for dead bodies.

Because we have to go back to the beginning. Always re-beginning. Where is the Messiah? What happened? John and Peter run to Jesus' tomb in their desperation. They don't know what they will find there. And John himself tells us that when they entered the tomb, the scriptures were resurrected. Had they not understood anything of the scriptures before this? But they had to throw out all of their previous understandings and re-begin.


[AV, 2005]

More Than Hired Hands

"'I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep. He who is a hired hand, and not a shepherd, who is not the owner of the sheep, sees the wolf coming, and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. He flees because he is a hired hand and is not concerned about the sheep. I am the good shepherd, and I know My own and My own know Me, even as the Father knows Me and I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep.'" (John 10:11-15)

"Seeing the people, He felt compassion for them, because they were distressed and dispirited like sheep without a shepherd. Then He said to His disciples, 'The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Therefore beseech the Lord of the harvest to send out workers into His harvest.'" (Matthew 9:36-38)

The phrase "to lay down his life" is not at all shepherd-like. It is more "lamb-like," it is more the action of a lamb who does not resist when being put on the altar and giving up its life. And for a shepherd to lay down his life for the sheep! A shepherd should feed and look after the sheep in order that he might feed and clothe himself with what the sheep produce, even slaughtering the lamb to enjoy its meat. But who ever heard of such a crazy shepherd as this who would do the opposite, allowing Himself to be slaughtered in order to feed His own sheep with His own flesh! ...

"The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few." This situation always seems to persist. The true laborers, the good shepherds are few or even none. But the hired hands are plentiful, and this seems to be a constant crisis. However, God has a different perspective on what seems to be a critical situation. He can be glorified in the crisis, precisely when the laborers are only a few compared to the plenty of the harvest. Think of Gideon, when the Lord said to him, "The people who are with you are too many for Me to give Midian into their hands, for Israel would become boastful, saying, 'My own power has delivered me.'" (Judges 7:2)

"Therefore beseech the Lord of the harvest to send out workers into His harvest." "Therefore," -- what for? Not, for there are few laborers, but for God’s glory! He does not need us. ...But He says, "I am the Good Harvester, the Good Shepherd, implore Me, -- I am not imploring you to send out more missionaries, more laborers, more experts for My work." No, not at all! The Lord alone is the Good Shepherd ... and He has done what was needed. He has laid down His life for the sheep. Implore Him to send out laborers. In other words, it is His harvest and it is He who sends out, not us. The field is His, so the laborers and even the harvest are also His. And He is interested in the harvest, in the laborers, and most of all, He is interested in the sheep -- in contrast with the hired hand.

The hired hand is not concerned with the sheep, says the Lord. The phrase "not concerned" in the original means not having an interest, not having a profit in the sheep. This is curious! We would think it would be quite the opposite. If a hired hand is working for wages, why is he not interested? In what is he invested if not in the sheep?

The Good Harvester, the Good Shepherd put His interest in the field, in the sheep. He invested in the flock. Jesus is neither hypocritical nor prudish about the importance of investment and profit. It seems that the hired hand is the more profit-oriented one as he works for money. But while the shepherd does not work for money, He is not working for nothing. He does not invest in His wages, but in the sheep. The value of the sheep is not in themselves, but in the measure of sacrifice -- the laying down of His life -- provided for them by the shepherd. You are precious to Me because I died for you. Your value equals My life’s value.

... My soul's profit is the Lord, and the Lord's profit is my saved soul. ... The hired hand sees his profit in his wages, the shepherd sees it in His flock, even in the most ignored and marginalized ones, so He can invest in them for eternity. ... our greatest gain is in people, let's invest in them by prayer, counseling, sacrifice, sharing, giving and dedication. Then and only then can we say boldly with Paul, "For if I do this voluntarily, I have a reward; but if against my will, I have a stewardship entrusted to me. What then is my reward [profit!]? That, when I preach the gospel, I may offer the gospel without charge, so as not to make full use of my right in the gospel. For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a slave to all, so that I may win more." (1 Corinthians 9:17-19)

[LH, 2008]