Hate and Fear and Love

...the visits from the Securitate [the Romanian communist secret police] began and continued over a period of months. Eva* was followed to work daily by a Securitate member. Balint, who was lecturing at the time and thus had a more flexible schedule, was required to report to the Securitate every day...

One afternoon, Eva was coming home from work [she worked from 6:30am to 3:30pm] and a neighbor met her and told her that the Securitate had been to her and Balint's house. Eva was disbelieving at first. For an afternoon visit by the Securitate generally meant one of two things: one was to be taken to a very distant prison and quite likely never heard of again, or one was to be beaten and possibly killed in the local facilities. Eva's neighbor persuaded her. The Securitate really had paid them an afternoon visit. "So, I had time to pray and ready myself for their return," said Eva

They were both very frightened. Balint was stretched out on the bed, waiting for the summons to go to the Securitate headquarters. Praying, praying. "Then I felt as if someone was telling me that we had nothing to lose. We had no children then and so we had nothing to lose but ourselves. I went over to Balint and said, 'Balint, we have nothing to lose. We have everlasting life.' When he realized how I was thinking he was encouraged and so we were able to laugh and pray together before he had to go. I went with him. It was the custom to accompany someone to the Securitate, not to let a person go alone."

"Then I walked home but someone was following me. I went into a shop to buy something for Balint, something to put on his bruises, because I was hoping that he would come home and I would be able to do this for him. And one of the Securitate was following me and I was frightened. I was so frightened I couldn't pray."

"It was at this time that I learned about loving and forgiving my enemies. A voice said -- it must have been an angel, because it wasn't my voice, I couldn't pray, I was so frightened -- a voice said, 'You are afraid of him because you don't love him. Perfect love casts out fear.' [1 John 4:18] And it was true, I hated him... I loved my life more than him. I wanted to live. And I realized that I had to love him more than my life, I had to say, 'Take my life if you want, it is more important that I love you.' And so my fear left me."

Balint came home that night without a mark on him... The daily visits to the Securitate were ended shortly afterwards, but the Securitate would still search their house when they were not there. "We would return from a holiday and realize that someone had been in our home and I learned then that even my home did not belong to me. We own nothing but our life and even that is not our own."


*names have been changed. [as told to CS, 1997]

Rabbi, where are You staying?

"Again the next day John was standing with two of his disciples, and he looked upon Jesus as He walked, and said, 'Behold, the Lamb of God!' And the two disciples heard him speak, and they followed Jesus. And Jesus turned, and beheld them following, and said to them, 'What do you seek?' And they said to Him, 'Rabbi (which translated means Teacher), where are You staying?' He said to them, 'Come, and you will see.' They came therefore and saw where He was staying; and they stayed with Him that day, for it was about the tenth hour." (John 1:35-39)

When the two disciples saw Jesus, their first question was not, "Who are You really?" or "What did John mean when he called You the Lamb of God?" or "What is Your teaching?," but only "Where are You staying?" After hearing the startling claims of John concerning Jesus, all they wanted was to see where and how He lived.

And Jesus confirms the legitimacy of this by saying, "Come and see". In so doing, He teaches us the connection between being living epistles and showing hospitality, because it is in our homes and family life that people begin to see us as we really are. If they are to see that our Christianity is not just a set of theological opinions, but a living presence in our lives and a way of being in relationship with God, it is essential that we invite them into the spiritual atmosphere of our homes to eat, read, and pray with us, and to truly get to know us.

In Jesus' case, what was the answer to their question, "Where are You staying?" In both Matthew and Luke we read that the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head. Though Jesus had no home, He was at home in the fallen world, because He was there with its Owner. In the same way, people will be at home in our homes if the Holy Trinity is at home there also and they find Him there. This is the key to fellowship among us.


[AV, 1998]

Breaking God's Sovereignty

"...for though the twins were not yet born, and had not done anything good or bad, in order that God's purpose according to His choice might stand, not because of works, but because of Him who calls, it was said to her, 'The older will serve the younger.' Just as it is written, 'Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.' What shall we say then? There is no injustice with God, is there? May it never be! For He says to Moses, 'I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.'" (Romans 9:11-15)

Such a hard passage. It's curious to notice that the Jacob who was loved had to fight stubbornly for the birthright. Esau, not Jacob, was the first-born. Jacob wrestled with the messenger of God and wouldn't let him go until he had been blessed by him. Even though he was in great pain from the dislocation of his thigh. Even though the biological facts and the law were against him. How can the second-born become the first-born? How can we break and ask God to break His own laws? How can we "break" the sovereignty of God? It was a totally illogical, unreasonable thing for Jacob to do.

A pastor was very sick in one of the communist prisons [of 1950's Romania) and obviously going to die, and had accepted this. But his brother-in-law who was in prison with him, an uneducated farmer, said, "Feri, it's okay that you are ready to die. But the rest of us will appeal to a higher court." He got the other prisoners to plead to God for the sick man's life, and the learned pastor was saved and humbled by the wisdom of a peasant.

Even so must I come to God as the second-born, whether I think I am an Esau or a Jacob; I must appeal to the highest court and plead my case; I must fight for the birthright of the first-born. We must, in Luther's words, "take heaven by storm". "The kingdom of heaven suffers violence and the violent bear it away." (Matthew 11:12) God's sovereignty is the very medium of my life; but in a sense, it is none of my business. To live, I must fight and try to break God's sovereignty.


[GEN, 1999]

Forget the Philistines

"Now Samuel was dead, and all Israel had lamented him and buried him in Ramah, his own city. And Saul had removed from the land those who were mediums and spiritists. ...When Saul saw the camp of the Philistines, he was afraid and his heart trembled greatly. When Saul inquired of the LORD, the LORD did not answer him, either by dreams or by Urim or by prophets. Then Saul said to his servants, 'Seek for me a woman who is a medium, that I may go to her and inquire of her.' And his servants said to him, 'Behold, there is a woman who is a medium at Endor.' ...Then the woman said, 'Whom shall I bring up for you?' And he said, 'Bring up Samuel for me.' ...Then Samuel said to Saul, 'Why have you disturbed me by bringing me up?' And Saul answered, 'I am greatly distressed; for the Philistines are waging war against me, and God has departed from me and no longer answers me, either through prophets or by dreams; therefore I have called you, that you may make known to me what I should do.'" (I Samuel 28:3,5-7, 11, 15)

The Philistines are warring against Israel and Saul is panicked because when he tries to ask God what to do, God doesn’t respond. So Saul seeks Samuel’s advice via a medium.

Even though Saul has banned all mediums and wizards from the land, when he asks his servants to find him a medium, they immediately know where to look. The people closest to Saul are close to the things he has outlawed. What does this say about Saul?

Saul is as distressed by the fact that the Philistines are against him as he is by the fact that God has turned away from him. His big concern should be that God has become his enemy, but he is as equally, if not more so, concerned by the Philistines. We are more troubled by the war the Philistines wage against us than we are by the war God wages against us. We think if only we can conquer the Philistines, all will be well. But is God is our enemy, nothing can be well.

The big difference between Saul and David was that Saul fought with the Philistines, but David fought with God, wrestling with Him in the way that Jacob did before him. Saul worried about the anger and threat of the Philistines; David worried that the all-powerful, all-righteous God of the universe has a complaint against him. In this sense, David fought with God, rather than the Philistines, almost every day of his life.

It may be easy to defeat the Philistines and have the appearance of a believer, and yet not be one. It may be easy to have a Christian lifestyle, a successful Christian lifestyle, and to not have a Christian life.


[AV, 1997]

The Meaning of the Nazirite Vow

"Again the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, 'Speak to the sons of Israel and say to them, "When a man or woman makes a special vow, the vow of a Nazirite, to dedicate himself to the LORD he shall abstain from wine and strong drink; he shall drink no vinegar, whether made from wine or strong drink, nor shall he drink any grape juice nor eat fresh or dried grapes. All the days of his separation he shall not eat anything that is produced by the grape vine, from the seeds even to the skin. All the days of his vow of separation no razor shall pass over his head. He shall be holy until the days are fulfilled for which he separated himself to the LORD; he shall let the locks of hair on his head grow long. All the days of his separation to the LORD he shall not go near to a dead person."... 'Thus you shall bless the sons of Israel. You shall say to them, "The LORD bless you, and keep you; The LORD make His face shine on you, And be gracious to you; The LORD lift up His countenance on you, And give you peace." 'So they shall invoke My name on the sons of Israel, and I then will bless them.'" (Numbers 6:1-6;23-27)

We read in Numbers 6 that if someone wished to consecrate himself to God, to make the vow of a Nazirite, he had to promise purity and separation concerning three things for a certain period of time. He was not to drink alcohol in any form. He was not to cut or shave his hair or beard. He was not to touch a corpse. In fact, the vow of a Nazirite was invalidated even if someone "accidentally" died in the Nazirite's presence. The man who would make such a vow had to realize that it is dangerous to live a life dedicated to God and to not take seriously the commands of God related to this vow. Clearly, we do not do God a favor by dedicating ourselves to Him, e.g. by choosing to be counselors, missionaries, or by voluntarily assuming an exceptionally sacrificial service. God warns us that in increased sanctity there is increased temptation for sin and - as it is more serious to abuse sanctity than indifferent things - that this kind of sin is more serious.

The Word presents three cases showing the seriousness and the majestic bearing of consecrating ourselves, in contrast with a possible breach of promise. We read that if someone broke his vow before the agreed time, he could not simply start over. First, he needed to present atonement in order to void the previous consecration and only then could he start all over again.

It is interesting in the second case that if someone died near the Nazirite, then that tragedy annulled the Nazirite's vow. It’s not as if the Nazirite had murdered the person! In that case, the requirement for an atoning sacrifice would be logical. In fact, we can say that it is the Lord of life and death who should be held responsible for that individual’s death, not the Nazirite. Therefore, it is God who should bear the person's death, yet it is the Nazirite who becomes unclean. Moreover, he must present propitiation for himself, as if he were a murderer.

If his judgment in righteousness is sophisticated, the Nazarite won’t take upon himself the "sin" and "responsibility" of God. But here is the secret. The Nazirite must love God so much that he is able to "forgive" God. He must love God so much that he is prepared to take upon himself the accusations against God and to carry His responsibility, as if not God, but the Nazirite himself had caused that person’s death. Being a Nazirite doesn’t suppose an ordinary consecration of one's life to God; therefore the challenge can’t be ordinary either.

The Word also regulates the expiration of the vow, in the third case described. The man consecrated to serving God must present sin and peace offerings as if he had broken his vow. Jesus referred to this: So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, "We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty." Luke 17:10.

Aaron's blessing crowns all the above. That it comes as a closure to the whole chapter is not a coincidence. After the consecration to serve God, the Lord's blessing can validate only one type of attitude in the ministry: the one who serves without wanting any reward realizes that the fact that God allows him to serve Him is a majestic reward in and of itself.

[LH, 2009]